Stale...Mate?

<begin complaint>

Today I have...
Responded and took care of some work emails.
Checked my email
Checked Facebook
Checked Twitter
Logged books into GoodReads
Downloaded free books from Amazon
Checked Facebook
Read through 100 posts on Google Reader
Check Pinterest
Pinned things to Pinterest
Browsed blogs found through Pinterest
Browsed blogs linked on blogs found through Pinterest
Checked Email
Read through a 10 emails
Watched a video
Watched another video
Read more blogs
Played two games of Scramble with Friends
Browsed Instagram
Checked Facebook
Started writing this blog post
Got Distracted
Read another blog
Commented on a couple of blogs
Shared links to Facebook
Checked Facebook.
Played Words with Friends
Started reading a book on Kindle

...

Sounds productive right?

Here's the thing, this place I am currently employed at was and is a great job for a college student, who is IN COLLEGE. I don't have a heavy work load, and I can use downtime to work on school projects etc.

But right now? Out of school, struggling to get back into... the monotony is killing me.

I MISS working. I MISS having a JOB. I MISS being TIRED from actually WORKING all day, I MISS having my dog with me at work. I'm TIRED of having to pretend like I'm working whenever anyone "important" comes into the office.

I have attempted to create more work for myself, but unfortunately when things are needed, they are needed. I have attempted to help other people out, but when it was discovered it was shut down pretty quickly.


So here I am. Stuck in my little space.

I've been here for almost three years. THREE YEARS.

I've applied for jobs up the "wazoo" with no takers. No calls. No interviews, but tons of rejection emails.

I feel as if I'm staling.

Don't get me wrong. I am extremely appreciative of the fact, that I actually HAVE a job to begin with, and until I get a better paying one, I will hang on to this one with every fiber of my being. But.

I still have an hour and half left.

*sobs*

< / end complaint>

New Glasses

One big goal I've had for this year, was to upgrade my glasses.
When we had insurance, we'd get new glasses every two years.
Needless to say without that, nothing happens..

This Tax season, I knew one of my purchases had to be glasses.
Something completely different than what I'd had before.
So when Dr. Biz.er's World promoted their Buy One Get One free deal, my friend and I jumped at the chance to get cheaper glasses.

I thought I'd picked out glasses that were completely different that my old ones, but weeks later, and people I see everyday STILL haven't recognized that I got new specs, I would say that was a complete and udder fail.

Yes I just said udder.
It was coming out that way, and since I'm all about being real, I just left it.

Cause in real life I have my own dialect.

Things like elovution - other wise known as evolution. Yeah.
I'm so sick of having to correct myself, I just leave it, and let people figure out what I meant.

But I digress.

Do I love my new lenses? Well.... not particularly. I couldn't afford to get non-glare lenses so the glare in these are horrible. And they are a lot bigger than what I thought, when trying them on.

But considering I only paid around $50 for them. I'm keeping them.

Before

Luckily for me, getting glasses shouldn't be a huge deal from now on, with places such as Zenni Optical around... $16.95 for a pair of prescription sunglasses? Yeah. We should be fine.

After

today.

today. nothing happened.

I mean of course things happened.
But nothing of consequence.
Or blog worthy.
.......
Other than maybe stepping outside of my house, at eight in the morning and finding the church roof next door crawling with men.
That was a bit disturbing.

Or embarrassing myself at McDonald's by refusing to take my order, because I assumed the woman had got it wrong. Its a long complicated story as to why I got to that point, one that I don't feel like getting into. Should you see me in person, I might feel inclined into going into detail, but at the moment I don't.
So quit asking.

Or finding out I will be redoing a project that I've been working on for four months now. From scratch.
As my boss would say "job security!"
Yeah.
Oops. I meant YEAH!

That looks better. More enthusiastic.

Or the fact that I found out I got two free downloads from Audible.com instead of the one I was originally expecting. SCORE! I know its not overly "cool" to listen to books on tape, but I love it. I listen to books at work, when I'm driving, as I'm cleaning the house, training the dogs, exercising.. ok fine so I don't exercise, much, but IF I were too, I would listen than too.

It does cut into my book reading time, but ya know.. 

I digress.
Can you digress from a random topic?

Who cares.

The End.

Love.

I was watching a proposal video on YouTube.

It was sweet, not over the top, somewhat you unique. The guy asked the girl on television. She says yes. 

But what got me was, when asked why they loved one another... the answers were.. bland. 

I've heard people expound the qualities of their dog better than this couple did for each other. 

"He's very nice to me" that's what I like most about him. 

My co-workers are nice to me, but I'm not going to marry them! 

I realize they were put on the spot, and should I have been put in the same position I probably wouldn't have wanted to give a really personal answer either, but I would hope that there was something a little more, meaningful, unique that I could say about my significant other. 

It got me thinking... 

If someone were to ask me why I love [insert significant person(s) name here] what would I say? 

Going through my list of close friends I realize the biggest reason I love them is because they love me. For who I am. Not who I could be, or what they can make me into, but because I am me. 

The same way God loves us, and we..love.. him. Not because He's done all these great and wondrous things in our lives (which He has) but above all because He loved us unconditionally first. This may not mean much to you, but this has been a real point of struggle for me over the last couple of weeks. You'll just have to be in my head to know exactly what's been going on. 

"We love him, because he first loved us" - 1 John 4:19 

Just. Wow.

tomorrow.

Tomorrow I go to the dentist for the first time in several years. 
Tomorrow I pay for my dental visit for the first time ever.
Am I officially grown up now?


if so, where's the exit? I wanna get off this train now! 


I never have been one to be afraid of the dentist. 
I actually used to *like* going to the dentist as a child. 
I mean, who didn't like getting erasers and pencils and cheap plastic trinkets? It was the best part!


We could hardly wait to dive into the toy box, that was taunting us from the other side of the room. 


Even as I grew up, I always wondered why people cowered in fear at the thought of going to the dentist. Sure it wasn't a thrill a minute, but our dentist, hygienist and dental assistants were all really nice and our visit were pleasant. 


Unfortunately moving meant discovering a new dentist. Sure I could do as my family has done and continue to use our dentist across the mountain, but who wants to drive 1.5 hours for a dental appointment? So on the recommendation of a friend, I took up with someone new. 


My first visit was during a busy time of day, apparently, and I felt as the dentist was in a rush and didn't do more than give me cursory nod. Oh! Yep you have a cavity. 


Let's get you back in her in a couple of weeks ok? Alright then.


What?? No you need to do this now! While I still have insurance......


Once my insurance ran out, life went on, I certainly didn't have the money to pay for the procedure, so I brushed, rinsed, and sometimes flossed (i know, i know) the best I could. 


Tax Return season hit, I have the money and so here we are.


And I'm scared. 

1. I've been suffering from allergies for the last couple of weeks and am not looking forward to sit for an hour or so with my mouth open, and have mucus pooling in my throat...or sneezing, or cough, or needing to blow my nose. 
2. The position the cavity I need to get taken care of is can be tender, and I really, really don't want him to hurt me. 
3. My dad has had a bad experience with this dentist and keeps giving me his war story. 
4. What if he can't fix it, and I'll need the tooth pulled and it will cost more money than I really have???

And so there you have it. 

I am complete dreading tomorrow. 

I want it to be over already. 

eep. 

I Should Be studying...

But..I'm thinking...

Wedding Cake at the wedding I attended Saturday

Thinking about the wedding I just got home from, and how much I don't want to have one. Noo I didn't say I didn't want to get married, but the whole wedding ceremony deal? Its scary.

Today's wedding was nice, very well put together for the couple only to have gotten engaged two months ago. But honestly? I was stressing watching everyone else stress out over little things. While these feeling's aren't new for me, being at another wedding just brings them too the forefront of my mind. Gone are the days were I dreamed of "my" day and what I'd do. Watching my friend in 2009, then my roommate last year has killed all joy at the thought of weddings.

There are too many traditions, opinions, and feelings  to worry about.. in a word.. too many people. Whoever said it was all about the bride? They were wrong. I would know after listening to people stress about what this one would say, or if they did this what would so-and-so think.

I'd be happy to have the pastor, me + future hubby + my immediate family and close friends. That would be a day for me.

And future whomever. 

Then we can have a party with lots of well wishers and the like. No cake cutting, bouquet or garter toss or the silly thing you do with the drinks, intertwining hands and what not. WHERE did that tradition come from?

Could I actually follow through with it? Probably not. Not too mention I'm sure future so-and-so would probably like an opinion in the matter, but I don't see myself enjoying the process much. 

Why are you worrying about this Erin? I know that's what you're wondering.. well I'm not really, but with the majority of my childhood friends dating, engaged, or married. Its something I'll have to think about more. Which is another scary thought. 

You know... I really have a project to finish. 

Good Night.

I Should Be studying...

But..I'm thinking...

Wedding Cake at the wedding I attended Saturday

Thinking about the wedding I just got home from, and how much I don't want to have one. Noo I didn't say I didn't want to get married, but the whole wedding ceremony deal? Its scary.

Today's wedding was nice, very well put together for the couple only to have gotten engaged two months ago. But honestly? I was stressing watching everyone else stress out over little things. While these feeling's aren't new for me, being at another wedding just brings them too the forefront of my mind. Gone are the days were I dreamed of "my" day and what I'd do. Watching my friend in 2009, then my roommate last year has killed all joy at the thought of weddings.

There are too many traditions, opinions, and feelings  to worry about.. in a word.. too many people. Whoever said it was all about the bride? They were wrong. I would know after listening to people stress about what this one would say, or if they did this what would so-and-so think.

I'd be happy to have the pastor, me + future hubby + my immediate family and close friends. That would be a day for me.

And future whomever. 

Then we can have a party with lots of well wishers and the like. No cake cutting, bouquet or garter toss or the silly thing you do with the drinks, intertwining hands and what not. WHERE did that tradition come from?

Could I actually follow through with it? Probably not. Not too mention I'm sure future so-and-so would probably like an opinion in the matter, but I don't see myself enjoying the process much. 

Why are you worrying about this Erin? I know that's what you're wondering.. well I'm not really, but with the majority of my childhood friends dating, engaged, or married. Its something I'll have to think about more. Which is another scary thought. 

You know... I really have a project to finish. 

Good Night.

...Is There Such a Thing..

{VIA}

As social media stalking?
There are times when joining a new social media site, I hesitate "add" or "follow" people that I'm following on..well everything.

Facebook
Blogger
Twitter
GoodReads
FourSquare
Pinterest
Instagram
Google+
Hanging With Friends
Words with Friends
......

The list could go on and on, (quite the social internet butterfly aren't I?) yet there are times when I see a follow...social media "friend" and I wonder, just what they think when they see MY name appear once again.  I suppose to disclaim, if I follow you, perhaps I like your taste in things. I will admit that if I know you in person, that yes I'll probably add you to any and everything, as we can discuss the things I "pin" or "post" or "tweet" about in real life. Do I get followed from place to place? I can't really say for sure, I'm on a loooooot of websites; and to be honest I haven't noticed a huge trend from ONE particular person.

What about you? Do you feel as if you are "stalking" your fellow Social Mediaist?
(Yeah I just made up that word.)


_Erin

...Is There Such a Thing..

{VIA}

As social media stalking?
There are times when joining a new social media site, I hesitate "add" or "follow" people that I'm following on..well everything.

Facebook
Blogger
Twitter
GoodReads
FourSquare
Pinterest
Instagram
Google+
Hanging With Friends
Words with Friends
......

The list could go on and on, (quite the social internet butterfly aren't I?) yet there are times when I see a follow...social media "friend" and I wonder, just what they think when they see MY name appear once again.  I suppose to disclaim, if I follow you, perhaps I like your taste in things. I will admit that if I know you in person, that yes I'll probably add you to any and everything, as we can discuss the things I "pin" or "post" or "tweet" about in real life. Do I get followed from place to place? I can't really say for sure, I'm on a loooooot of websites; and to be honest I haven't noticed a huge trend from ONE particular person.

What about you? Do you feel as if you are "stalking" your fellow Social Mediaist?
(Yeah I just made up that word.)


_Erin

Adulthood - And Its Problems

In my very short time as an adult, I have learned this to be a fact: My Issues, are MY issues. 

Be glad this is not a photo of a flea. I thought about it. 

Which works out very well, since I like to think I am a very independent person. However, there are times when I sorely wish I could thrust my problems off onto my parents and let them take care of them.Unfortunately for me, my parents are used to my independent streak, and even if I tell them about problems or struggles I'm having, (life issues etc..) they have other things to do, and normally forget my woes. 


Leaving me to deal with them.
This week, my problem comes in the form of a little brown bug, less than an inch in size and so very annoying. And guess who has to deal with it? There is no running to my parents for help, mainly because they are out of town. There is no asking friends or family to deal with the problem, because honestly.. what can they do anyway? 

Nope, it all rest solidly on my shoulders. 

Now before we go any further, let me say that all my dogs have been treated not once, but twice with  with TWO different flea prevention problems. And we still have fleas. 

I've spent hours googling "natural" ways to rid my house/dogs of fleas, as being a poor college student (who needs to buy her dogs dog food, since they are completely out) I can't really afford to go out and buy a bunch of chemicals. 

I can't say they haven't worked, as for the most part, my furniture and the newly washed and dusted dog sleeping areas, have stayed flea free. However, my bed room (why, why, and why?) has not. Which now that I think about it, really is no surprise, considering, but that's beside the point. 

The point is, that I've realized that its time for me to suck it up, dip into my savings and buy one of those chemical room fogger, bomber thingys. 

Can I digress for a second here? So I'm on Petsmarts website, reading the reviews on some room defogger thingy, and I LOVE the 1 star ratings for the product. According to those who gave the product 5 stars, its supposed to take several DAYS for the chemicals to take affect, yet the 1 Starers, were gripping about their wasted money, after several HOURS!? GRR!! Its people like them, who cause .. what could be unnecessary doubt in a product, because they really DIDN'T follow the directions. 

Back to my point. 

I would Love to call my father to come take care of this problem for me, but the fact is... my father is a city boy, thus not the person to call when you have an insect problem. My mother would be more helpful, but with four other children at home, well its kinda of hard for her to get away. 

So I'm all on my own. 

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. 

.... Update: The house has been treated, Foundation will be supplying me different flea meds for Trump, Capstar and Advantage are sitting in my "cart" on Amazon.. and after a trip to Wally World for extra Flea Killer, I think.. we could win this War in the next two weeks. 

Pray for me? 

Next year we're stopping this before it starts, as soon as the weather warms, I'm going to be out treating the house, all dogs are going to be on Advantage if they live with me, I'm stocking my growing supply of bug-b-gone stuff (yeah sue me, I use chemicals to get rid of bugs) with flea killers, flea collars will also be in supply, to rest in my vacuum cleaners, as well as a ready supply of the Essential Oils. 

If that doesn't keep them away, I'm moving. 

"Natural Flea Solutions" 

Things that Repel Fleas: IME

• Lavender Oil (Sprayed this on myself frequently and wasn't bit until I stopped using it) 
• Peppermint Oil ( Sprayed furniture down with this, and left cotton balls with drops of the oil down in the cracks, seems to have worked great) 

Killing Fleas 

• Diatomaceous Earth (FOOD GRADE!): So I actually caught a couple of fleas, bagged them and dumped this powdery stuff in there to see if it actually worked. I will admit to being a born skeptic at things I find on the internet. The fact is this, it does kill them.. BUT it took about two days. And I resisted the urge to squash the little buggers. Be Proud.  

P.S.( I was hesitant to post about this at first, because I didn't want people to think...well whatever people will think..(aka judge) about me, but the thing is this.. they are bugs and invasions can happen to anyone. So judge away..in the mean time I hope maybe my woes helps someone else.. )

Life as I know it...

Here's the thing, I love my family you know? They're really great peoples once you get to know them. (ducks a shoe comes flying from nowhere) But here's the thing, we're not so great about the whole "communication" thing. 


I don't tell them what I'm doing, they don't tell me what they're doing; and we're ok with that... except when things like this happen. (paraphrased a bit) 


Me: So did you guys get a lot of stuff moved into the new house?
Them (one of them): Yeah all the beds are over there.
Me: Aw so are you guys going to spend the night over there now?
Them: YEAAAh...we kinda of don't have any beds at this house. 
Me: Oh ok.
Them: We're going to have the internet guy come out Monday and hook that up.
Me: Cool. Me: ... Wait so that means you're shutting down the internet here? (which I'm stealing as I can pick it up all the way at my house) TOMORROW!??
Them: Um yess I think so.    
Me: (note not yelling just a wee bit panicky) BUT..BUT..YOU'RE NOT EVEN GOING TO BE HERE FOR THE WEEK!?! (another suprise..they are going leaving town for the week)
Them: Oh! I'm sorry! I don't know what you're going to do. 
Me: <gaping>  What am *I* supposed to do?! 


While I knew this was going to happen at some point, I didn't realize/no one informed me that they were moving for real, for real (they've been working at this for about a month or two now) this weekend or I would have........probably...done nothing since I'm flat broke (hence why the whole stealiage of the parental units internet).


What is the point of this post? 
I know you're wondering, with good reason. 


None really, more of just an this-cant-be-happening-right-before-school-starts-brain-dump. 


If I go to school this semester.


But I'm not stressing about that. No Sirree. 


Not stressed at all. 


*whistles*



Back to the point though: I need my internet!! Honestly what else does one do with nothing else to do? 


Read a book? Cook? Clean my house? Train my dogs? Psht. Parish the thought. 



I'm going to bed. 

A Letter

Dear God,


Why can't I know my life's plan ahead of time? I mean honestly, it would be sooo much easier to know what I'm supposed to be, where I'm supposed to be, and why I'm doing it. 


But I suppose that would mean I would be less, reliant on you, and more reliant on myself.. 


Oh.

Notes about my blogging style

1. I am human.
2. I am NOT an english major.
3. In fact I really hate being grammaticality correct.
4. Sometimes I think faster than I can type.
5. Thus resulting in typos such as: their instead of there, wear or where instead of were or we're. 
6. Sometimes I leave out words.
7. Sometimes I wonder if people really want to read what I have to write.
8. Other times I really could care less.
9. Sometimes I go back and re-read my posts about a gazzillion times...AFTER I've published it.
10. Sometimes I go back and edit my posts a gazzillion times after I publish.
11. Never have I taken a post down due to grammer or spelling errors.
12. I can't spell.
13. Defiantly can't spell
14. I mean I can but apparently I can't.
15. I have made an attempt to stop using spell checker as well.
16.  Sometimes I have to go look up a word I want to use, to make sure I'm using it in the write way.
17. Sometimes I start writing posts and then completely forget the point of it.
18. Sometimes I can't figure out how to end a post. 
19. Every time though I am just me. 
20. I just wanted you to know that.
21. Oh. Btw. I meant "right" not "Write".
22. Case in point. 

To Drop or not to Drop

That, my friends, is the most-over-used-question.
I'm not a quitter, I hate quitting in the middle of things, whether or not I like them or not...so most of the time I never start things. However, at 8pm on this very tiring Saturday night, I'm contemplating just that. Quitting I mean.

That and removing the voice box from one of dogs. (He wants a toy I'm not letting him have. Mean mom I know.)

I've come to the sad realization, that I may have put too much on my plate for this semester. If I were better at managing my time, perhaps I could do it all, but at the moment I don't know. I don't know what happened this semester, whether it was getting started late, or the different changes that happened over the last couple of weeks, but I just haven't had the motivation or drive that I've had in past semesters.

I don't know.
Have I said that enough already?

I do know that I have less than a week to decide whether or not I'm going to stick it out with this class, or drop it until  a later date. Both options scare me, but I don't want to put my GPA at risk, just because I wanted to stick it out to the bitter, bitter end.

I don't know.

I also know, that today has been a long day, mostly spent traveling mixed with a little bit of fun. =) My sister and I went to #AVL for our monthly puppy meeting today, Rob was tired of walking around so we put him in my bag. He looked quite funny with his little bobbing out the back, but he didn't wake up!  As nice as it was to go back over there for even a little bit, I'm looking forward to doing absolutely.NOTHING (except for homework,re-doing my hair, cleaning my house, car shopping and more homework) next weekend.

Weekend Plans are HIGHLY overrated.

I am Blessed.

I'm generally a thankful person. 

Its something I know I'm supposed to be.

Thankful for my family, friends, heat, clothing, warmth....

But today it hit me. 

I don't know if it was the homeless man standing in 30 degree weather with just a sign...

Or maybe it was walking from my warm car, in my warm clothes, to my equally warm house....

Or perhaps it was the hauling of bag, after bag full of food into my house.. 

But as I looked around I couldn't help but think.....

I am blessed. 

There are so many places or situations I could be in at this moment, but I have been given the presence of mind to make good decisions, to look at others mistakes and learn from them... to lead a productive life....

Reguardless of how this year turns out, I have what I need.

And for that I am deeply thankful. 

                        

A Small Miracle

That's what I'm hoping to happen over the next couple of days. Either my advisor will be able to "magically"  squeeze me into a class or two, without having the "demanded" transcript, or said transcript will be in their mailbox nice and early tomorrow morning. 


Otherwise I'll be resigning myself to spending a semester saving as much money as possible. It sounded like a great idea when I first thought about it last year..but now, now that I'm actually faced with the possibility of not going, and having to amuse myself through other means for...three-four months while the rest of my peer group slaves away....now it just doesn't sound like much fun...


I'm a little over having nothing to do at the moment. 


Have I mentioned that I did get my FA money. 


Yeah well I did. 


I'm excited about having it, but it took so long it was just: "Its about time you got here!"


Ya know what I'm sayin?


I thought you did.


Well I've got to go now. I hope everyone has an awesome week. 


I've got some praying to do. 


Smile.

My Writing

Reverb10: Writing
What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?
(Author: Leo Babauta)

Truthfully, I believe I'm my biggest hindrance to my writing. I have all these great ideas in my head, but when it comes to writing them down...I get distracted.


Typically it takes me about a day to write one post... simply due to the fact that I'm trying to do an gazillion other things at the same time. It starts small, first I'll leave the dashboard screen to go edit my photos to be uploaded, then I'll see something that reminds me I need to check __fill in the blank____ on Amazon.com, from their I'll start browsing their book section, then my phone will let me know I have a new email, and I'll go check that; effectively forgetting I was even writing a blog post. 


By the time I happen to click on the tab, housing my draft...the idea, the passion, the thought..is long gone, and I'm left trying to put the pieces of that post back together again.


When I am able to learn to focus...or the internet dies, one or the other, I'm 85% I would be a better writer. 

One Word...

One word to describe the year Two Thousand and Ten.

Stress.

I think I knew from the first day of January, this year had the potential to be a "toughie." Over the last...shall we say, 21 years, I've learned to trust my gut feelings about some things, and I just KNEW something was not right.
I'd had such high hopes for this year too. I made the difficult decision to quit my second job, in order to relieve some of the drama and stress in my life, as well as go back to school full-time, starting a new major.

However, quitting that job was not an easy task. My boss was very difficult to work with, and she had me doing two people's job at once...getting all that work delegated to other people was a chore. A big chore. Add a brand new 9 week old puppy, that I'd volunteered to raise for the Guide Dog Foundation. Yes, I'd planned on getting another puppy, but.... I didn't plan on it coming a week after I'd hinted about wanting another pup.

Then top that with a $5,000 tuition bill from the school, since I hadn't lived "in-state" for two years. Oh! And lets not forget the teacher who was determined to make my life as difficult as possible while we're at it.

Is anyone depressed now?

Life really didn't get much better, as the year progressed.. I was paying out much more than I was bringing in, the school's financial aid system was sending me through the ringer, and the billing center at the college, kept harassing me, about payments that I could.not.afford...to the point I was about to break down.

Summer saw me fostering a "demon dog" determined to make my life and my dogs lives miserable. Which she succeeded in doing. My roommate even moved out during this time, and left me to deal with her by myself. She didn't do it on purpose I know, but explain that too my sleep, and stressed out brain. We finally found her a home, and life started looking up............

The Fall semester started ok, but progressively got worst, as once again the financial aid office, dropped the money noose around my neck by only paying $350 towards my school. Thanks guys! That'll cover...one book...maybe two.

And we'll not mention the near loss of my driver's license, $200 in court fees, drama, not to mention the invasion of some annoying, extremely hard to get rid of pest in my home, that nearly sent me over the edge.

Some how, I'm still alive through it all. Thank you God.

However, words cannot describe the feelings I get when thinking about December 31, 2010.

I can only get better from here..right?

So my word for 2011 is simple:

Puppies. 
I picked that word, because that's the only "sure" thing, besides the fact that God is in control here, that I know about next year, I refuse to dwell on all the uncertainties that will carry over from 2010.

~ Erin 

Join in with many others at Reverb10, and get daily prompts throughout the month of December!  

November 29: Budgets.

I've failed. 


If I could remember what I thought when I checked my bank account Friday morning, I'm sure those two words, would have been the first thing that ave come to my mind. 
With only $0.33 left in my checking, I knew I'd finally achieved my goal of being a broke college student. A goal I haven't been striving for. 


However, failure was not on my mind, as I promptly blame my insuffient fund account on the fact that this month has been very heavy in the way of bills. Between my two charges of $96.50 in court fees, and purchasing a brand new camera flash...on top of my regular spenditure, I was pretty sure that was the blame. 


Over this year, I've made a big effort to cut back on my impulse shopping, purchasing food once a month, paying all my bills on one check... everything else on the other, insuring that there is money for my bills.. 


I really thought I was making great strides, but just wasn't bringing in enough money. 
Just to be sure, I sat down with my bank account and crunched some numbers this morning. 

I was very dis-hearted with what I saw. 

Though I'm not spending much on "fun stuff"... um.. I made at LEAST 3 trips to Wal-Mart walking, spending no less than $30 each trip. And then one $50 trip to Target .... which tallied up to $322+. 


Could someone PLEASE tell me why in the world I was going to Wally-World that often this month?? I hate that place! 
Oops. 
I'll admit I'm an impulse shopper, which means I have very little regrets about the purchases made without prior thought..until I'm broke that is..That being said, this month I did have a lot more of legitimate "need" purchases than normal, due to..um..circumstances. 
But um...perhaps I could have thought this through a little more. 


I had set amounts for: Food, Gas, Bills and General Purchases, and I truthfully thought the amounts were reasonable. Compared to what I'm actually spending.. like not.at.all so much. 
So I bought a separate visa card, to put my "expenditures"  like, food, gas and house supplies on that. that way when the money is gone its gone. In turn, causing me to be more vigilant about watching where my money's going. I'm also going to start purchasing staple products from a site called Alice.com, which will keep impulse buying down. 


Not only do they have most of the items I would get in a place like Wal.Mart they also have FREE SHIPPING ON EVERYTHING. Can't beat that people. 


If only stores would have little carts to calculate your totals, as you shopped...watching that balance increase as you add things, goes a long way to making me think about what I'm buying! 
I'm not much better when impulsively buying food...I mean, you can never have enough food right? 


Am I Right?


Especially if has the letters : I C E  C R E A M on it. 


Its an addiction.


But back to the point, I've written down "menus" for the next four weeks, and try to buy only the things needed to make those items, and maybe a few snacky items. I also make sure I've eaten before I grocery shop, as the will negatively effect my budget. 


I've got to get a handle on my monies now or I'll NEVER get a car, or be able to set foot in other clothing store for a long.long.time.


And that, my friends, will be a very.sad. day indeed. I've bought maybe 5 new pieces of clothing this entire year. I've avoided them like a plague, because my impulse disease is very.hard. to control in those places.


Anyway. The brain is wandering from the subject at hand. 


So in conclusion, there really isn't a real good reason I should be completely broke at this point, starting from the ground up every.single. month. I mean there are reasons, but I think i could have managed my money I LOT better than I have to date. Thankfully we make mistakes to learn from them. 


And that's what I plan on doing. 


Dear Self,
You want this right? Its time to buckle down and get a move on! 
















 Sincerly,
Tired of Being Broke.

November 27

Ok first question. 

WHO TURNED OFF THE HEAT?

Thursday I was rockin' my flip-flops and today, my toes were literally numb as I watched over the lost and found booth at the stadium. I could so do without winter time. 

Second Question:

How cute are they? 

I was called in for a last minute/emergency photo-shoot by my favorite photo-shoot-family. They had an appointment at a studio but had to cancel due to the KY fan traffic. So guess who got a call? 

I love.love.love photographing these kids! 

More Photos 

Third Question:

How you'd Kentucky Fans enjoy today's game? 

Considering we beat you guys 24-17! 

Oh yeah. 

Go.Big.Orange!!!!