tomorrow.

Tomorrow I go to the dentist for the first time in several years. 
Tomorrow I pay for my dental visit for the first time ever.
Am I officially grown up now?


if so, where's the exit? I wanna get off this train now! 


I never have been one to be afraid of the dentist. 
I actually used to *like* going to the dentist as a child. 
I mean, who didn't like getting erasers and pencils and cheap plastic trinkets? It was the best part!


We could hardly wait to dive into the toy box, that was taunting us from the other side of the room. 


Even as I grew up, I always wondered why people cowered in fear at the thought of going to the dentist. Sure it wasn't a thrill a minute, but our dentist, hygienist and dental assistants were all really nice and our visit were pleasant. 


Unfortunately moving meant discovering a new dentist. Sure I could do as my family has done and continue to use our dentist across the mountain, but who wants to drive 1.5 hours for a dental appointment? So on the recommendation of a friend, I took up with someone new. 


My first visit was during a busy time of day, apparently, and I felt as the dentist was in a rush and didn't do more than give me cursory nod. Oh! Yep you have a cavity. 


Let's get you back in her in a couple of weeks ok? Alright then.


What?? No you need to do this now! While I still have insurance......


Once my insurance ran out, life went on, I certainly didn't have the money to pay for the procedure, so I brushed, rinsed, and sometimes flossed (i know, i know) the best I could. 


Tax Return season hit, I have the money and so here we are.


And I'm scared. 

1. I've been suffering from allergies for the last couple of weeks and am not looking forward to sit for an hour or so with my mouth open, and have mucus pooling in my throat...or sneezing, or cough, or needing to blow my nose. 
2. The position the cavity I need to get taken care of is can be tender, and I really, really don't want him to hurt me. 
3. My dad has had a bad experience with this dentist and keeps giving me his war story. 
4. What if he can't fix it, and I'll need the tooth pulled and it will cost more money than I really have???

And so there you have it. 

I am complete dreading tomorrow. 

I want it to be over already. 

eep.