ICAT and Other Tales: Cars

I was able to pay my car off in May of this year, completing one of the few goals I’d set for myself this year. Now I have had this car for three years now, and while I was paying for it the only thing I’ve really had to worry about was replacing the tires. In theory that means I should have had some extra money, however, once my car heard that I know owned it free and clear, it decided to act out. 

Remember the little alternator incident? 

I never completed the story on that one, and want to take a moment to give my dad a huge shout out for removing the alternator, taking it to the alternator place (and not making me do it!), bringing it back, installing it in my car, and once installed and it still didn't fix the No A/C, No Power Windows etc.. problem, took it back to the mechanic and stayed their until they fixed it. Go Dad! 

Then there was this little incident where some woman backed into me in the parking lot. While its been officially decided that it is not my fault, I still need to get an estimate on getting said bumper fixed. [update: I was able to re-attach the bumper with a bobby pin and a hair elastic.. #likeaboss I still need to get it looked at.. eventually.] 

Then the hatch struts for my trunk quit working, and need to be replaced. (Yes I googled: things that hold up hatch) .. and yes it is annoying to hold up the trunk with my head, while loading Tally or unloading large tables. 

Then my back tire kept going flat, so I replaced that and a couple of break lights. However while that was being done, Walmart managed to knock the plastic baking, covering the wires on my hatch off, and which I subsequently ran over, when I took it out to load something in the back of the car. 

 During theloading of the afore mentioned large object incident, I managed to use said object to knock off the top part of my console off. -_-

Then the other day, I get in my car and hear an awful crunching sound. A quick inspection of the front wheel area revealed a piece of plastic, sticking out at an odd angle and rubbing against the tire wheel. [update: as of two days ago I've had to completely remove the whole wheel cover as it just fell off one day.] 

So if you were keeping track there was : 

1. Alternator (fixed)
2. New Battery (purchased) 
3. New brakes and Rotors on the front 
4. 1 Tire 
5. 2 brake lights 
6. 1 bumper 
7. 2 hatch struts
8. 1 broken trunk backing (no Google search would reveal the true name) 
9. 1 broken console 
10. 1 broke wheel well plastic (fixed that!) 

So that happened, in the last six months. Well not the bumper incident...
How on earth am I ever supposed to upgrade this car with all this stuff falling off? 
Not that I plan on doing that any time soon. 
I like not having a car payment-ish.

I mean it could be worse. 
It could be a lot worse.
I could not have a car! 

So the moral of this tale is… 

When you pay off your car, make sure you have some savings for everything that will break afterwards. 

Pre-Damage.... 

The end. 

Emotions

I need to get an air-purifier in my house sometime soon, or I might succumb to the mold growing in my closet. 

I can feel it trying to work its way down my throat. Or perhaps that is the sore throat I feel coming in, bequeathed to me by one Lauren. 

Week 3 is going to start with a crawl. This I know by the fact that its 12:18AM and here I sit vigorously typing this post. My brain feels so full that I feel I might hurt someone if I got out with all of this still up here. 

I’ve subjected my friends and family to the same old tales over and over, so I feel as if its time to hit you guys up with it. 

The fact of the matter is, despite the new job … I’m lonely. 

Words I’d never thought I’d write. 

You see, as the oldest of six children I was constantly surrounded by people. Morning,noon and night, so when I moved out on my own, I loved the fact that I was by myself ish. I loved that I had an entire house to go all alone, when I was done with people. 

That’s more accurate. 

Then my family moved up the hill, and it was like being at home again but without intense nosiness. (Just a milder form of it) 

Then my friends moved into the house beside me, and it was even better, friends at a moment’s notice if you needed them.

Then I acquired a roommate … and that was an experience. 

Then my roommate moved out, and I once again had the house to myself (sigh) 

Then my parents moved far far away and that was sad, but I still had my friends … 

Then my friends moved away and I was by myself. 

*note when I say “move away” i mean across town. 5-10 minutes away. So I’m whining. Yes. 

But that was ok, because my job was taxing, and I was once again surrounded by people for nine hours a day, so coming home to an empty house was nothing short of a relief. 

But now … 

Now I work with maybe three other people. (there are more, but everyone has offices) 

The phone barely rings.

Appointments are steady but sometimes are hours before they start. 

Lunch is quiet… boring … taken in an empty break room, staring out wide windows, watching people walk by, before returning, ten-minutes early due to boredom. 

Then its time to get off of work. 

Now what. 

Obviously I need to go home and take care of my pets, but then what? I’m in such a habit to soak in every minute I have at home, that I’m loathe to change that, but what really is there to do? I just spent eight hours in front of a computer screen, do I really want to do that for another five? 

It’s either that or sleep. 

I can’t sleep. I HAVE to get up by 5:30AM. 

That will NOT happen if I sleep now. 

To be honest, there are about a bazzillion productive things I could do. 

1. Train my dogs 
2. Practice piano
3. Write
4. read
5. go to the park with dogs 
6. visit my family 
7. visit my friends
8. work out 
9. eat 
10. clean 
11. join a meetup group 

But I suppose I have let myself get in such a habit of “vegging” that despite doing ‘NOTHING’ for eight hours, the thought of doing ‘something’ is draining. 

Good Lord. 

What’s happening to me? 

OH. I know. 

Its the food I eat. 

But that’s another subject, for another long winded posts. 

There was a tip I saw once, something about if you are bored by your writing, then your readers will be too… 

Well. 

hmm.. 

I’m Sorry? 

The dilemma

What do I want to do with my life.
I feel as if I field this question on an all too regular basis.

"So what are your plans for the future Erin? Where do you see this "thing" going?"

I realize that 24.8 years of age, I should have an idea of what I want to do with my life.
I should have at least a bachelors degree.

You don't know how embarrassing it is to realize that this a milestone people younger than me have reached two.years.ago.

MY YOUNGER SISTER HAS ALREADY GRADUATED COLLEGE. 

I shouldn't be embarrassed. I know this.
It's not like I've slacked off.

But people don't know that, and I don't have time to explain the ridiculous situations surrounding my college career each and every time I'm asked.

As I stated in a previous post, one of the perks of my job is nine credit hours free per semester. Something that will be a huge blessing, but I'm conflicted.

When I graduated high school, I really didn't think much about which school I was going to attend. There was a community college in town, and I was more than happy to attend classes there.

I was a shy kid, so the thought of moving away from my parents, family and friends completely terrified me. So the idea of going to a university never really occurred to me.

When I moved to Kn.oxville the options were endless.

There were so many colleges at my disposal, but PSTCC called my name with its offering of a Photography program, so I applied and was accepted there.

Despite financial aid problems, I have absolutely loved my time there.
I love their class selection.
I love their course schedules.
I love their openness when it comes to my guide dog puppies.

Now I'm faced with the affore mentioned dilemma.

During my time at PSTCC I have looked dismissively into classes at UTK, and have never been impressed with the offerings. So much fluff, not enough stuff. In. my. humble opinion. Too much money. Good-bye!

But now... it looks as if they are my only option. Sure, they offer a fee waiver to at least one class at another Board of Regions school ... but I really NEED To take as many classes as possible.

Don't get me wrong, the prestige of going to a university has its draw. A very STRONG draw. But its just that to me, a status symbol.

Argh!

Perhaps I'm just scared of the unknown.
I am prone to doing that.

Oh who am I kidding.
I'm absolultely terrified of the unknown.

What if I don't finish this degree either? Am I destined to be stuck as a recpetionist forever?

Tuesday, May 6, 2014

"Now that I have some **extra money, I think I'll ... spend it getting my alternator rebuilt!" - said no broke college student ever.

This story started yesterday, when I climbed into my car to go for a ride. Obviously.  I put the key in the ignition and turn it and wait for my dashboard to light up... nothing happens ...Odd.  I turn it off, then turn it back on ... still nothing. No dashboard lights, no speedometer, no fuel gauge, no turn signals, no air conditioning, radio works, inside lights work, headlights work, but no daytime running lights...and no windows. Seriously?

So I do what any girl would do, and call my dad and go through the litney of questions that comes with diagnosing problems over the phone.
Yes the car turns over.
Yes I can drive it.
No, no signals, no headlights, no A/C, no windows ... right, no A/C, no windows, no fuel guages, no speedometer, yes its running now... no it doesn't act like anything strange, no I can't roll down the windows... Yes the car runs fine, just is hotter than, a hot thing that's hot!

We finally settle on a bad battery, as after one turning off-turning on event, the car just died and refused to come back on. If its just the battery, no biggie.

So I get up bright and early this morning, and run to AutoZone to get a new battery. (Because that's exactly what I was saving my monies to do) The sale and installation of said battery went really quickly, and I hopped in the car hoping beyond hope that the problem was fixed ....

But it wasn't.

Unfortunately, I didn't have time for more diagnoses, and had to dash off to work.
Surely I could get our handy mechanic guy to check it out for me while I was there .. 
But for some reason he decided to go on vacation this week of all weeks.
Who does that? Honestly.

So I spent the day, dreading the drive home, and trying to work up the nerve to go BACK to AutoZone and have them re-test my alternator to see if that was the problem. I have an issue with people recognizing me in public you see. Turns out, I (and google, and my dad) was right. The alternator was bad, and the cheapest option would be to get it rebuilt.

Joe Blow and Hole In The Wall, garage can fix it for you in fifteen minutes flat! Give him a ring tomorrow.

blech.

Not exactly what I wanted to spend my day off doing. Not only that, but it turns out they rebuild 'em cheaper if YOU (read: my dad) takes the alternator out yourself, and bring it too them.

Great. Welp. Guess I'll be spending my day cleaning house, instead of grocery shopping tomorrow.

waah.

(Special Shout-Out to Coworker S for letting me borrow her car at lunch!)

(**read: no longer have a $200+ utility bill, and finally paid off my car -woot, woot!) 

Friday, August 30, 2013

sounds

Jump 5 blaring through my cell phones small speakers at 7AM (Google them, its been awhile since they were "cool" i know) 

The high pitched squeaky bark of my friends yorkie pup visiting 

The soft thump of a 15-year-old dachshund headed for the back door, and her morning relief 

The subsequent thumps of human feet as they dash after her, to make sure she gets outside in time. (Old age ... aaaah ) 

The squeak of mattress springs as the human makes another mad dash BACK to bed, two hours till its "really" time to get up. 

..... 

Refrigerator doors opening and shutting

The rustle of thin worn pages 

Kibble hitting metal bowls

The crunching of dog teeth 

The swish of fabric being pulled on 

...... 

The comforting sound of a "healthy engine" 

Music blaring through the speakers in an effort to pump oneself up for work 

 ...... 

The ringing of phones

The banging of doors 

The requests of customers

The response of co-workers

The laughter,

The sighs

The eye rolls (... oh wait, that's not a sound!) 

..... 

The clink of coins hitting plastic 

The swish of a mop 

The locking of doors 

The sighs of contentment, turned to consternation once the realization that the day, while over starts a new in the morning ... 

...... 

The soothing sound of an audio book reader 

The roar of a vacuum cleaner

The hum of a microwave

The growls, grumbles and thumps of playing puppies 

.......

The high pitched squeaky bark of my friends yorkie pup protesting bed time

The squeak of a mattress spring as the human + dogs claim spaces for the night 

The clicking of the lamp turning off.. 

And the high pitched scream of one mad little puppy.

Then silence 

Month 6, Day 7

#woeisme

Today was ... one of those days when you realize that you may not be as well liked as you think you are. Trust me I have no disillusions when it comes to people I'm aquatinted with.. I know I have a unique personality (don't we all) and sometimes it can be taken the wrong way, or get on people's nerves. (ask my siblings) however I like to think that I am a trust worthy person, who does my job and tries to be a help to those around me. Whether its pitching in to look for a missing chart, or filling in for someone to take sometime off. I genuinely don't mind. However I do mind the bitterness and the put downs. 

Here's the thing I've learned over the last couple of years in life. If you want something to change, criticizing, calling names, degrading etc..etc.. won't work. In fact it seems to cement the behavior more firmly in place. I know for me personally, the more I'm put down or made to feel "not good enough" the less I feel inclined to work, and work hard. The more lax I get, because... after a while? I don't really care. I have forced myself to keep these different scriptures in mind, to help me press on and continue to work my best. I'm come to realize that while it may "feel good" to just slack off to "show them" it doesn't reflect well on me as a person, as a child of God, as a child of my family, as a member of my church as a representative of my friends...etc..etc..etc.. 

Today's incident, was one of those situations that, handled differently wouldn't have phased me a bit, in fact I was a little surprised at how it was handled, as I thought ... but apparently I thought wrong. The way it was handled left me feeling as if I was goofing off instead of doing a project that was assigned to me. A project I haven't been able to work on, at all, due to the short staffed'ness of the past few months. 

It left me wondering, at what point do I let things go, and at what point do I stand up and say "Hey this isn't right!" 

I have another aquaintence who tends to talk down and treat me as if I'm dumb, then turn around and be incredibly nice to me, and I'm in the same quandary with that individual. 

Am I allowed people to door mat me, or am I just reflecting Christ.. ? It's a very thin and difficult line to find. I don't like causing conflict when it comes to me and how I feel. It's not that I don't feel like my feelings are worth anything, I just hate the vulnerableness of saying pulling a person aside and saying 'that didn't feel good'. I have a tendencey to cry during conversations like this, which makes everything worse as I despise the tears for making me seem weak and thin skinned. 

Today I ..... 

• Tried broiling steak in the oven (again) this time i brushed it with canola oil before broiling. Figured out six minutes per side is too long in my oven. Slightly tough, but not bad. 
• Framed a clock over my bed. 
• Left the puppies crated outside on the porch for a couple of hours. Was relieved they were still there when I got back. 
• Talked to the neighbor who foisted Zipper off on me so many years ago. Still makes me shudder 
• Exclaimed in surprise as the puppies actually laid down and slept for a few minutes all on their own. Who knew this was possible! 
• Starting reading "If the Shoe Fits" by Sandra D. brinker 

#TBT [Carowinds Circa 2007]

I remember this trip like it was yesterday.
Which really means I don't really remember it at all.
I can barely remember what I did yesterday.
When was yesterday?
See what I mean?

However, I do remember this was a surprise trip for all of us kids. My dad's job held their yearly "get together" at Carowinds, and we didn't know until we were pulling into Carowinds parking lot.

I miss times like these, when life was in a more "care-free" vein. We could do things together without having to arrange schedules and re-arrange life.

We all looked so young and ... dare I say it? Homeschoolerish. I can't believe my mom let us go out in public like this! Dear Mom, I know we were teenagers, and we probably wouldn't have taken any advice, so then was a good time pull out the "I'm the Mom do so" card.  I can't believe I actually walked around in PUBLIC like this!?

Before leaving home. We were excited and didn't even know where we were going!

Evan, Weston and Autumn posing with Scooby Doo Characters

Mom, us girls and Velma 

Weston was less than thrilled about riding the kiddie ride. Tough buddy.

The whole Fam.
I used to not care about what I wore. Can you tell?

I don't think he was uber excited about this ride :) 

Peace.

Its that moment.

The moment when the house is completely quiet except for the sound of the computer keys.
The moment when you hold your breath and dare not move a muscle.

The moment the baby(s) have finally gone to sleep.
Eyes closed you let out your breath in a slow rush.
Blessed quietness.
Peace.

And then a small whimper sounds.
Then another...
and another ... this time much closer and you glare at the fiend who dared add to the disruption.

"Hooonestly!" The look intones. "You won't die of starvation if dinner is delayed an hour or two, or three, or however long the babies decide to sleep." This of course, directed at the much older and more knowledgable dog at your feet.

Another mournful noise emits from below the desk, this time a bit louder.

Its in this moment you could cheerfully strangle your dog.
In the nicest sense of the word possible, of course.

* * * 

My neighbors got puppies the other day. Two of them in fact. Not exactly sure why, despite text conversations this afternoon. They are out of town on a family emergency  and me .. being the good neighbor that I am... decide to check on them and see if they were still there or not.

update: apparently the puppies were on death row, and they rescued them. so ok. 

Not only were they there, they decided they wanted to come with me.

It was quite cold out and I couldn't leave them to the elements so I scooped them up and took them home with me.

They've been here ever since.

I'm calling them BeBop & Boom Boom ... the littlest pup is a female (BeBop) and the bigger is a male (Boom Boom). Both are very tenacious puppies with a lot of attitude  Here I am doing them a favor by getting them out of the cold, and they have the nerve to scream about it!

BeBop is the feisty one out of the bunch, while her brother totally runs over her, she's the one that figured out how to get out bathroom, by climbing the baby gate, not once but four times. She's the one that raced up to David and grabbed his leg (him being at least 20x her size). Boom Boom is much more reserved and easily offended. The first time David accidentally bowled him over, he went shrieking back to the bathroom.

Don't get me wrong, its NOT a problem at all, I brought this on myself, but they are very young puppies. And young young puppies are a looooot of work.

Two means:

Twice the water and food intake the monitor.
Twice the poop and pee to clean.
Twice the energy levels to exhaust.
Twice the teeth and nails to dodge.

But at the same time its a bit less work than just one. Its hard to explain unless you've had as many puppies as I have over the last five years.
I kinda of wish I could go ahead and request my next puppy just so David can be here to entertain her. (cause it will be a girl next go 'round)

But no, must take a break from puppies. Must. Take. Break.
Sigh.

Its March

Today was my early day. A alarm-goes-off-a-6AM sort of early. Though I loathe mornings, I have found that getting off around 7-8PM isn't that much fun either. While I dread mornings, I drag myself up and haul my lazy self into work every other day; or whenever they decide to schedule me early.

It rained all day, by the time I headed home that afternoon, water was already forming ponds in neighboring yards, and I could feel the wheels of my car catch on some particularly heaving spots. Driving in rain almost scares me as much as driving in icy conditions.

I stayed home long enough to let the dogs out and figure out what groceries I need to purchase; before changing out of my scrubs and heading to W.al-Ma.rt. Can't rightly say why I took the time to do that, seeing as how no one dresses up to go to Wa.l-Ma.rt.

However, I am so tired of wearing a uniform, that I take every opportunity to dress in "normal" clothes I can. It took me about an hour and a half to get in and out of that black hole. I went in for supplies to make chicken salad, sweet potato fries, and a new recipe from the pioneer woman... I came OUT with all of the above, plus:

• Supplies for a pinterest project I've wanted to try 
• Hangers for all my new clothing purchases lately 
• Two new scarves I just "couldn't pass up" 
• A new pajama set that was on clearance for $3  
• A new dog coat that was on clearance for $5 

And that's just what I decided to keep after all the other things I put back.  I was proud of myself and you should be too. I have a serious addiction to scarves guys and WM is not helping it buy having them so cheap. 

Even reminding myself of the fact that I spend 99.9% (or so it feels) in either a uniform or pajamas  doesn't quell that urge. 

Its five minutes after 11 now. 

How in the world did that happen? 

I really want to curl up in bed and try to work my way through the 20 books I checked out from the library. Especially since they are due tomorrow.

But here I stand, my MacBook sitting on my ironing board, placed as close to the window as possible so as to maximize the wifi signal from my gracious, but ignorant neighbors. 

(Ignorant to the fact that I'm using their wifi I mean.) 

I still have chicken to transform into a salad for lunch tomorrow. Done! 

There are still a bunch of dishes to wash. 

I still need to wash my hair. 

Its not going to happen tonight. 

Too much work, and effort. 

My iPhone's shuffle is cracking me up. Sara Barellis just told me she wouldn't write me a Love a song, but Selena Gomez jumps right in behind her and tells me she Loves Me Like a Love Song... and she keeps hitting re-pea-pea-pea-pea-peat 

The time is now 1:07AM.
I'm propped on my pillows, stuck in this awkward position as my dog decided that my leg made a good body pillow. Literally.

I'm going to bed now world.

Until we ramble again!

Seriously.

I don't really know what possessed me to go all inspirational on you guys last week.
I had, what could qualify as, the week all that is boring broke loose.
Its not that I forgot to be less boring and more awesome... its just that being boring was waay less work than being awesome. I'm kinda of ashamed of myself looking back on it..

I could have worked at being a better pianst.
I could have worked at being more organized.
I could have taken the time to hang out with my family.
I could have used my camera more.

The list goes on and on and on.

Unfortunately... I really had a great nap that one day. :)

Happy New Year!

Another year, another obligatory post about said new year. As IF you all were unaware 2012 had ended and 2013 was underway. Most blog posts near the beginning of the year, are filled with hopes and dreams for the next 365 days. Ideas/plans and thoughts about how this year could be better than the next fill our thoughts and reader feeds.

That is not this post. 
This post is a be prepared for the onslaught of posts next week, but just wanted to say "hi" this week post. 

The beginning of 2013 has already started off with a bang, and I haven't been able to stop long enough to really flesh out my thoughts.

Friday - Monday I was in Alabama.
We arrived home at 1:30AM on Tuesday morning, and I came home to a house full of dirty doggies; so I spent the next 30 minutes clipping and bathing one of them. Got up at 10:30AM the next morning and cared for all four dogs, and started doing some organizing. I spent a lot of the day at home, not because I'd planned on it, but was hoping to meet up with friends later on that afternoon.

When they hadn't made an appearance by 6:00PM I ventured out in search of food on New Years day. In fact it wasn't until 1:00AM, just as I was headed to bed, that I got a phone call from my mother (of all people) informing me that "the folks had arrived and they were headed to Applebee's."
Thanks to my 20oz of Dr. Pepper I was still fully dressed and only had to grab my keys and purse and head out of the door.

Three hours later, I arrive back home crawl into bed only to be awakened at 9:00AM by my furry alarm clocks. I mean HONESTLY. Can't a body sleep in on her day off? Nope.

Knowing I had a bazzillion things to do anyway, I pried myself out of bed and readied myself for the trying day ahead. For you see, I'd agreed to take on of the dogs I was housing back to the shelter for her owner.. (something I don't think I can ever do again) This dog wasn't right for their family, and I knew that she really needed another home.. I just wasn't prepared for the emotional wrenching of handing a dog over to these people. Luckily I don't think she'll be there long as there were five people in line when this family took her.

But I digress. I had a plan for the day.

1. Pick up the dogs information from her owners house (they were on vacation and told me where to find the key.) 
2. Get enough gas to get to work (Since I was out of town I missed getting my paycheck. Thank GOD direct deposit starts next go around) 
3. Pick up David and Cheque from "Work" 
4. Deposit Cheque
5. Meet Mom @ Mall to switch my cell phone account to theres (and saving me about $60 a month. AW YEAAAH!) 
6. Take Dog to Shelter
7. Comfort myself with a trip to McKay's Used Books 
8. Get Food
9. GO Home. 

Sounded simple enough, but it was NOT meant to be. First mishap of the day? I forget my coat. Its cold outside, but I figured I was only going to be in it long enough to get from here to there, and a coat is bulky and would just get in the way. However when I arrived at S-Dogs owner's house, I couldn't find the key. Anywhere. 

It. Was. Cold.

We finally found it, grabbed the information and sped towards my next destination; in the mean time calling my mother and pushing off our meeting time a bit. 

My next stop, was to put enough gas in my tank to make it to my workplace five miles away. I knew my gas tank wasn't the only thing running low, but figured I had enough to get at least a couple of gallons. But after my card being denied a couple times at two different pumps, and my other card stopping at $2.99. I knew something was wrong. 

Not only that but there was a truck driver who was incessantly honking his horn while I attempted to figure this all out. I glanced around to see who was honking and noticed him seem to wave at someone. 

Was it me? Nah he didn't look familiar, so I turn back to what I was doing. 

The honking started up again. 

I look back, he waves. 

I look away decisively this time. 

He honks AGAIN. 

At this point, I couldn't care if he honks until doomsday, I refuse to look back over. #shudders
I climb into my car, and pull off and realize he's pulling off too. Great.. is he coming over here? Will he block me in with his truck? Do I know this guy?

Thankfully he pulls pasts honking and waving the entire time.

Throughly annoyed now, I go to another gas station, transfer the last little bit of money from my savings, get enough gas to move on and head to work.

Luckily these next two stops go as planned, and since my dah-ling mother hadn't even left yet I headed on to the shelter.

Let me tell you, it was rough. I can't imagine how anyone would be willing to give a pet they purchased/raised from a puppy back to this place. (Not speaking of S-Dogs latest adopters but the ones who had her from a puppy). She knew where she was immediately and sat beneath a chair while we waited the long minutes until our turn arrived.

From that point everything went pretty quickly. S-Dog was admitted I made a mad dash for my car, and David and I took off for a bit of retail therapy. The rest of the day proceeded as planned and I made it home in time to take a nap, before church that night.

Alas the weirdness of the day was not to end there.

Nope.

My alarm went off, and in true "me style" I turned it off and promptly went back to sleep. But I paid for it. Next thing I know, I'm dreaming I am sleep and have sleep walked outside. In my dream I wake up, and realize that I'm laying on grass, and can actually FEEL the grass.

How in the world did I get out here? I wonder as I cautiously stand, carefully wrapping my blanket around me to protect from the cold. A man is walking towards me. Shadowed by the night, I know I am defensive-less. I am standing in the middle of someones yard, there is no where to hide!

So I did what any girl would do.

I screamed. 

Not a high pitched girl scream. Nooo no no no no no. A deep, guttural  mouth wide open, teeth bared, animal like scream.

Then I had the nerve to wonder how hideous I looked and if that's what scared the man off. (Because that scream def kept him moving, and also looks matter regardless of whether the guy is a creep or not. At least to my subconscious)

At this point in my dream I realize I'm going to have to start walking home, in my pajamas; and I don't no where I am.  I also come to the realization that this is all a dream and I need to wake up. And so with an effort I force my eyes open and discover my house is pitch black dark.

First thing I think? You slept through church! Its 11:00PM! How are you going to explain this one to your dad?

Second thing I think. Surely the dogs didn't sleep through people arriving for church!? They NEVER do that.

Third thing is the logical thing of course.. Where's my phone?

Once I recovered sufficiently to realize I hadn't slept through church, I was able to proceed with my preparations for said event.

Life has moved on at a slower pace today. I haaatteee 7-8AM in the morning, but LOVE getting off during daylight hours.

I think I'd like my job more if I worked "normal" hours. This is not the a job that's conducive to a social life. That's fo sho.

I digress.

So the point of this post is to say I've been busy. Hopefully Saturday I will get a chance to sit down and flesh out a bit more of my thoughts and hopes for this year. But only after I recover from work and the emotional trauma of having to send David away for 3-4 weeks.

Made even more traumatic by the fact that he's only got 2-3 months left with me. :-|

Noope. Not bitter at allllll.

Soo see you guys next week?

I miss it.

As much as I love living in K-Town there are days when I really miss what I call my "old life." While I wouldn't have said so at the time, things were just so much simpler. I was in school with the goal to graduate from the Web Design Program, I had a nice part time job, I was raising guide dog puppies, and was active in our guide dog group. I had a great church family and life was good.

I felt like I had direction.

Then it all turned upside down.

This is not to say the move wasn't good for me, it was. But I miss the surety (at least in my mind) of life five years ago.

Right now life just feels, pointless. Well perhaps that's not the right word, but some days I get up going. What in the world am I doing? I know there is one out there, but at the moment I don't know how to find it, and all my current endeavors just leave me frustrated at the end of the day. I have a job that pays the bills, but not one I particularly enjoy, I'm stuck with a debt to pay off before I can finish my schooling, and even things such as puppy raising have lost their appeal.

Will I quit striving at any of the above? No, but at the same time I just don't feel as .... I don't even know. Words can't express how thankful I have for my week long christmas break.

I need it.

P.S ( I also miss photoshop. Gimp just doesn't cut it.)

VEDA Day 8 // Exciting Life

July 6-8

I don't know if I've mentioned it on this blog or not, but my camera and I are estranged right now. I've been in a bit of a funk in regards to photography in the last little bit, and I've taken it out on my camera. In my defense my cameras do seem to be loosing some of their... I don't know, or perhaps my standards for photography have gone up, I don't have faith in myself as much any more. 

Regardless... that really has nothing to do with the post, other than to say the majority of my photos were taken with my iPhone. Again.

I kinda of regret doing that.

This weekend, was our annual Youth Jubilee in Forrest City AK. A small, small town, with limited food options. However we don't go because to sight see, but to learn more about God, and fellowship with friends all across the country. Its probably my favorite meeting of the year, despite the mosquitoes, eating Taco Bell (gag) every day and extreme heat. :)

For my family, this was the first trip with all the siblings (minus one) sans parents. It was interesting to say the least. My brothers aren't known for being the most cooperative with us (being 14 and 16) but they did relatively well. :)

Each day in the three day weekend, is packed with things to do, service in the morning, lunch, choir practice, Pizza and Skating party, then change for the evening service. After that get a late dinner and hang out at a the hotel. :)

To say its exhausting is an understatement.

I think I got total of eight hours in the last three days.

But it was worth it.

To Cleveland or Bust!

So the weekend... was three days ago, I fully realize that.

And in these last three days, I have been sick, working, and working yet again. So you'll forgive me if I'm a bit behind on the recap of my trip.....that you didn't know I took. :) 

[Now a week ago but.. you know I had other things to think about this last week] 

So yes. I got out of town for the weekend, and it is hitting the leader boards as THE most scariest trip of life. Is that a bit of an exaggeration? Maybe, because honestly I didn't realize how scary it was until we were on our way back. But I digress. 

This story starts out around a couple of weeks ago, when my friend Rebekah asked me if I would be willing to accompany her to Cleveland Ohio, to attend a housewarming party, for a mutual friend of ours. At the time of this discussion, I was a bored out of my mind and ready for any sort of adventure. 

Boy, did I get it. 

Fast forward to Friday morning. 7:30AM. 

Since Rebekah and I live about a stone's throw from each other, (and work within a mile radius of each other) we agreed to ride to work together and leave as soon as I got done.
All morning there were predictions of severe weather, and storms; but being in a windowless office, I really didn't think anything of it. I was focused. 

12:00PM 

My work for the day is done and I'm more than ready to leave. Rebekah finishes up, picks me up and we hit the road, stopping to grab some lunch before we get too far. As we were picking up our food, we were inundated with Twitter updates and severe weather alerts from the radio. But since we were headed out of state, I wasn't too awful worried about it.  After all, we were leaving the area right?

WrONG.

Had we known we were headed directly into the path of a tornado, I don't think we would have been so eager to leave town. Well...yeah. no. 

I-75. Blue Skies, Clear Sailing

The more we traveled, the less we saw any severe weather, the less concern we felt. In fact, we were in Cincinnati before we saw any rain even. However, when the text messages, inquiring about our well doing, we decided to see if we could get updates about weather in our area. But not knowing what counties we were in, it was hard to know if WE were in any danger. But by that time, we were more concerned with the traffic we kept getting in, with the party starting at 7:00PM, we were doing our best to make it at least in that time frame. We'd finally broke free from that traffic when Rebekah made the fateful statement: 

And I paraphrase: 

Rebekah: "Phew I doubt we'll have any more traffic problems." 

Me: (with a horrified look on my face): You just jinxed us! 

About 20 minutes later, we were stopped on the interstate. 

15 minutes later, she was putting the car in park, and rolling down the windows. 15 more minutes later, I was beginning to feel claustrophobic, trying to breathe deeply, and not cry. After an eternity, we began moving again. 

By this time, we were ready to stop, stretch a bit, and refuel our bodies and the car. 

We were definitely late for the party. 

Once refreshed, I took over driving, as fast as I dared (considering I have just avoided a ticket).

It was 9PM by the time we arrived at the home, of the party, and we were exhausted. Though everyone was still having a great time, we found some chairs,collapsed gratefully into them and sent texts to our various family members to let them know we arrived safely.  

The night was far from over yet. 

Though the party was winding down, family and friends wanted to go see "Chelle's Place" and take over all the goodies she'd received. We went, because... we didn't have much choice, and did want to see her condo. 

Throughout this time, it had been raining off and on, but the wind was blowing like nobody's business. After hours of tornado alerts we were, understandably, a little on edge with the high winds. So we're sitting in the living room, trying to stay awake while we wait for our ride to come and get us, when we hear this rumbling sound, very similar to that of a train. One of the guys hops up..
Guy #1:What's that?

Guy #2: Tornado's sound like trains right?

Both jump up and run to the door and peer outside.(Because that is the smart thing to do after all!)  While the rest of us (save one who had his iPad and was engrossed in his game) mentally panic, trying to figure out where to hide, out..

"Its just a train." 

You don't realize just how tense you are until, you can sigh with relief. I think I was literally shaking by that point. Shortly there after, our friend Michelle arrived to take us, to our lodging place and we gratefully (after hanging out for a bit) hit the hay. 

3:00AM 

Saturday- 12:30 PM

I woke up to the sound of Rebekah trying to turn off my white noise app. I can't sleep in absolute silence, and the house we were staying at was like a fortress. I was already swimming towards conciseness anyway, and heard the waves moving further away from me. So I knew someone had picked up my phone. I reached for said phone, turned off the app and glanced at the time. 

12:30PM? Seriously? I never sleep that late while out of town! 

That's when we heard them. A high pitched wailing sound, that could only be tornado sirens. At that point, I really didn't know what to do, so we just sat there. Rebekah had lived in "the flat lands" before, and decided they were probably testing them, given the time and the day. 

Not knowing if the other girls were awake, we sat around checking our phones, for about an hour or so before deciding to get up and get dressed. At this point, we were both starving. And I do mean STARVING people. 

We convince Michelle to take us to Chick-fil-a, then we went and wondered around the mall, for a while before talking 'Chelle into driving us downtown. To be honest, I have always thought of Cleveland as a small town type place, but... I was wrong I think! :)

By the time we'd looped through the city, it was time to meet the rest of the family for dinner.

After dinner, we returned to our hostess's abode and hung out, played games, talked.. basically had a good time. By the time we went to sleep, it was 1:00AM.

I woke up to these words.

"Erin! look out the window"

Instantly, I knew. There was nothing else it could be but snow. Sure enough, there was about an inch on the ground already, and I had a sinking feeling, we might be leaving a lot sooner than we expected. Within minutes, Michelle's mom was on the phone with me, advising us to start heading back. Much to our disappointed.

Getting out of town, took some doing, and there were some nerve wracking moments. But once we got out of Cleveland, it was smooth sailing.

Going through Kentucky, was were we realized just how much we were protected from on our way up. These pictures are scary when viewed from hundreds of miles away. These pictures are terrifying, when that could have been you, had anything delayed you on your trip through there. It was one of those rare moments, when you actually get to see what God protected you from, and it hit me pretty hard.

Though its been a couple of weeks since this storm, I'm sure these families are still attempting to salvage what is left of their homes. Please keep them in your prayers.

And that, my friends is the end of THIS epic adventure of Rebekah & Erin.