Emotions

I need to get an air-purifier in my house sometime soon, or I might succumb to the mold growing in my closet. 

I can feel it trying to work its way down my throat. Or perhaps that is the sore throat I feel coming in, bequeathed to me by one Lauren. 

Week 3 is going to start with a crawl. This I know by the fact that its 12:18AM and here I sit vigorously typing this post. My brain feels so full that I feel I might hurt someone if I got out with all of this still up here. 

I’ve subjected my friends and family to the same old tales over and over, so I feel as if its time to hit you guys up with it. 

The fact of the matter is, despite the new job … I’m lonely. 

Words I’d never thought I’d write. 

You see, as the oldest of six children I was constantly surrounded by people. Morning,noon and night, so when I moved out on my own, I loved the fact that I was by myself ish. I loved that I had an entire house to go all alone, when I was done with people. 

That’s more accurate. 

Then my family moved up the hill, and it was like being at home again but without intense nosiness. (Just a milder form of it) 

Then my friends moved into the house beside me, and it was even better, friends at a moment’s notice if you needed them.

Then I acquired a roommate … and that was an experience. 

Then my roommate moved out, and I once again had the house to myself (sigh) 

Then my parents moved far far away and that was sad, but I still had my friends … 

Then my friends moved away and I was by myself. 

*note when I say “move away” i mean across town. 5-10 minutes away. So I’m whining. Yes. 

But that was ok, because my job was taxing, and I was once again surrounded by people for nine hours a day, so coming home to an empty house was nothing short of a relief. 

But now … 

Now I work with maybe three other people. (there are more, but everyone has offices) 

The phone barely rings.

Appointments are steady but sometimes are hours before they start. 

Lunch is quiet… boring … taken in an empty break room, staring out wide windows, watching people walk by, before returning, ten-minutes early due to boredom. 

Then its time to get off of work. 

Now what. 

Obviously I need to go home and take care of my pets, but then what? I’m in such a habit to soak in every minute I have at home, that I’m loathe to change that, but what really is there to do? I just spent eight hours in front of a computer screen, do I really want to do that for another five? 

It’s either that or sleep. 

I can’t sleep. I HAVE to get up by 5:30AM. 

That will NOT happen if I sleep now. 

To be honest, there are about a bazzillion productive things I could do. 

1. Train my dogs 
2. Practice piano
3. Write
4. read
5. go to the park with dogs 
6. visit my family 
7. visit my friends
8. work out 
9. eat 
10. clean 
11. join a meetup group 

But I suppose I have let myself get in such a habit of “vegging” that despite doing ‘NOTHING’ for eight hours, the thought of doing ‘something’ is draining. 

Good Lord. 

What’s happening to me? 

OH. I know. 

Its the food I eat. 

But that’s another subject, for another long winded posts. 

There was a tip I saw once, something about if you are bored by your writing, then your readers will be too… 

Well. 

hmm.. 

I’m Sorry?