There are some people in my life, who are in my life by blood. It’s been over two years since I’ve seen them; I don’t really have a relationship with them because they are many miles away. But the expectation seems to be, one that I have to maintain in order to hear anything. I don’t get it, even as a child I’ve wished things could be different, but since it wasn’t something I had to deal with every day, I pushed it off.
Today I decided to make sure I was doing my part, and sent a long newsy cheerful email, and the end I wrote: “I love you!” and signed my name. I don’t know what happened but I suddenly realized what I wrote. I mean in essences I do love them for who the represent. But for the most part, I don’t know that I LOVE them for who they are, or who they are in my life. I really don’t know them at all. Truthfully I do wish there was something that happened, where I could try and rectify the situation but there isn't..that I am directly involved in anyway.
Now that I’m older to realize how much work maintaining a relationship is, I began to realize that perhaps the work didn’t want to be put in. I don’t know. All I can take care of is the present and future. And maybe one day I can say “I Love you” and mean it.
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