Happy Easter!

The weekend is coming to a close, and in a little bit I'll be heading back to church for the evening service. Its been an interesting one, as C's boyfriend came in for the weekend, they'd stay out late then she'd stay up later with me talking through different things. Hey I want to have as much information about this "dating game" before its my turn. :))

Its funny how similar we are.

I've thought a lot about what Easter means to me, not the holiday perse but the price Jesus paid for me. While I don't normally talk about God on my blog much....(I feel its easy to say things and not be doing them, and I don't want to ever be caught in that position) as an online diary I do kind of want to see where I was at this point in my life spiritually.

I was 15 when I decided that living for God was the way to go. I'd been raised in church all my life, but as that really had a small amount of influence on my mind. I can remember a young age thinking of what I was going to do when I turned 18. *Sigh*

Anyway as you know growing up in a Christian home does NOT make you a Christian...and there are a LOT OF things I regret doing. Maybe I never drank alcohol or smoked, did drugs etc.etc.. but somethings are going to haunt me for a long long time.

15 was significant because it was the year, when God really let me see why I needed him. When you're young,have two parents in the home and never a real need for anything.... God is not someone you really see a big need for if you know what I mean. I knew I was supposed to want to live for God but that was about it.

I spent most of that year trying to figure out what I was doing on this earth, I can remember waking up dreading another day of life. I was really just existing there was no purpose, I mean what was the use if I was going to die eventually? Thankfully it never went too the point of me thinking about taking my life, but the feeling of emptiness was so overwhelming at points, I just want to go to sleep so I didn't have to face life. I kind of wish I could ask my parents what their take on me was back then, though I really wasn't communicating with them civilly.much.

Ugh teenagers.

I really wanted to change, I did not like the person I was becoming and It was at this point, where I realized changing wasn't something that I could do alone. I remember the night I repented of my sins, it was such an awesome feeling to get up and know all those sins were GONE!

And to have the power to not have to sin is indescribable. I can be the person that not only do I want to be, but the one God wants me to be. I can be an honest, trustworthy, caring, person.
My bosses do not know how lucky they are to not see who i was. I don't have to lie, or cheat or steal or have hatred towards other people.

All because Jesus died, and rose again so I could have this new life.

Its been 5 years, yes I've had many many tests and trials where the devil wanted me to go back to sin, but ONLY through God have I been able to resist. Isn't God awesome? 

And that is the reason that this is a Happy Easter for me.